whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
