remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
there is glitter all over my balls
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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