Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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