What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
