He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
