In America we eat man semen.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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