I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
