it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
two words: eviction party
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
