Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize