The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
