At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sext me about skeletons
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize