I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
