okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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