I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.