its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You could cut the tension with my nipples.