I looked at my own cervix.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.