If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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