3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
