google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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