They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Drake has all the answers
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
