Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
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