I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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