My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
