she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
