his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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