OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
