9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
