I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
