she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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