Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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