This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
