Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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