Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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