# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize