i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize