She's JV to your varsity
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
