I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
