id be glad to
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if only i could text you this smell
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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