it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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