I must be too annoying 4 u.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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