Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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