Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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