I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize