we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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