come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
