i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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