i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
