What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
