I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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