everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
