wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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