Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize