ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
