I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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