I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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