Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize