the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
