why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
