laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize