Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
